Relationship First: Your Relationship is the Foundation of Your Training.

Treats? Check.

Clicker? Check.

High value toy? Check.

Leash/Collar/Harness? Check.

Relationship with your dog?

Um, wait, what....?

How is your relationship with your dog? At the root of all training with canines is your relationship with them. Imagine going to a new therapist and being asked within the first 5 minutes to perform a bunch of tasks:

"Here, fill this out.

No.

Not that way, this way.

Ok, now show me your deep breathing skills? No? No deep breathing skills? UGH. Bad human!

Here, let me show you....

Ok, now sit down. No, no no.

Not that way, this way; let me show you. UGH. Why are you NOT getting this?"

Imagine how this might feel.

Not only do you not have a connection to this person, but they are insisting on you doing things when you don’t understand the expectation and have never been taught. Rather than being guided and instructed with care and compassion, you are treated with angst, frustration, and when you don’t perform perhaps, you’re even being reprimanded or “corrected” for not performing the expected behaviors.

Now imagine that at the end of your session, they want you to feel connected to them and like you can open up and be yourself.

Would you feel excited to engage in a relationship with this person?

How frustrating and invalidating might you feel, given the way the therapist approached your session?

Dogs communicate primarily through body language, and yet, we humans insist on using verbal cues and markers to teach them. Many humans forget that the most important thing at the root of all training is in fact our relationship with the dog in front of us.

By taking some time to connect with Fido by engaging them in games, building trust, validating their feelings and concerns, teaching them our preferences and expectations, and providing clear communication when they ARE on the right track, this teaches them that we are on their side, they can also have fun with us, and that they can have confidence that we will be a calm, confident leader guiding and supporting them.

What does Relationship First look like?

Putting your relationship first means taking the time for fun and for connection. Creating a secure attachment relationship takes time, energy, and repetition.

Consider incorporating activities where your dog learns that you, their human are the provider of all good things and that you are always the most rewarding, exciting, engaging thing in their world.

"Relationship First" might look like:

• Having clear, consistent communication

• Providing clear expectations

• Setting our dogs up for success

• Advocating for our dog's needs and personal space

• Offering lots of opportunity for sniffy walks and other enriching opportunities to satiate their breed specific needs

• Play time where the human and dog are involved; think Tug, Fetch, simple training games etc. (rather than play that might involve the dog alone or with other dogs. This is because we want to teach our pup that the human is always the most rewarding, exciting, engaging thing in their environment.) Play the Name Recognition game:

Try This!

1. Say your dog’s name.

2. Wait for them to look at you/ towards you. Do NOT repeat yourself for at least 7-10 seconds so they have an opportunity to hear you, process, and problem solve what behavior you might be looking for. If they still don't look at you/ towards you in 7-10 seconds, repeat their name 1x and follow it up with kissy noises and/or a whistle.

3. The second they look to you/towards you/ at your eyes, Mark and Reward with: "YES! Good Fido!" If you are using a Clicker in your training, you can click the clicker at the same time you use your "YES" Marker word. This better enables you to effectively use "Yes" and the Clicker to Mark and Reward behaviors so that your dog knows when they are on the right track. Precision of timing is important!!

4. Follow up quickly with a treat/ piece of kibble

5. Repeat 10-15 times, 2-3 times a day for a week, beginning inside in a low distraction environment and then playing in more distracting environments to help proof this skill

6. The end behavior should be that the second you say your dog's name, they look to you, awaiting further instructions.

   This game is great for building name recognition, building engagement with your dog, having fun, and laying the foundation for future behaviors, like Recall/ "Come" when called.

Play the 'Go Find' Game

Try This!

1. Take a piece of smelly treat and wave it right under your dog's nose, letting them see you throw a piece of kibble away from you at a very short distance in a low distraction environment to begin. As you toss the treat, tell them to "Go Find!"

2. The moment they sniff at/ retrieve/ eat their treat, Mark it with "YES!" and/or a Click of the clicker. Give them time to eat their treat.

3. When they naturally look back to you excitedly, realizing that you have yummy food and are playing a fun game with them, Mark and Reward the moment they look to you/ their eye contact with "YES! ::Click:: Good Fido!!"

4. When they move towards you/ come running back to you out of excitement, cheer them on the entire way. This will be VERY short distances in low/ no distraction environments to begin and can be gradually generalized to more distracting environments and longer distances away. Praise and cheer them on the ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE MOVING TOWARDS YOU!!! Humans often don't realize that Recall is 3 different distinct behaviors: 1) Looking towards you 2) Making the decision to return to you/ beginning to move towards you 3) Physically returning to you/ allowing you to put your hands on them (like when leashing them up for example.)

5. Give them lots of little pieces of a high incentive snacks from both hands, like small bits of chicken, beef liver, sardines, cheese, etc. By using lots of little pieces and rewarding from both hands, maybe even incorporating a step or two backwards to encourage them to keep moving towards you as you reward them, this makes the reward/ moment of returning to you SO FUN and something they will be eager to do in the future.

   Something to consider: When first getting your pup, do not allow a lot of interactions with things that might be more exciting than you, (like other dog interactions for example.) You want to teach your dog that no matter what is going on, you are the most important thing to them and that all good things come from you. This includes the opportunity to play with other dog friends. No on leash greetings and no greetings or play without permission from the human. (I’ll elaborate on this and proper dog socialization in future blog posts, but the short version is we’re aiming for our pup to be neutral in as many situations as possible when considering socialization.)

   
   

Teach your dog to follow a Lure:

1. Place a teeny tiny piece of a high incentive, smelly treat in the palm of your open hand, tucking the treat against your open palm with your thumb. This is a perfect Lure position as well as a great way to reward your dog with less risk of being nipped.

2. Place the "lure" directly in front of their nose.

3. The second their nose/ tongue/ mouth touch the palm of your hand, release the treat and say Yes! and/or ::Click:: your clicker.

4. Repeat this several times by placing the lure directly in front of their nose and then beginning to slowly move the lure away, just a couple inches to start, building up to a couple of feet, in a low distraction environment to begin.

5. Increase your and their luring skills indoors, having them follow the lure wherever you place your palm. You can incorporate a Touch cue as they progress. Learn more about Touch here: Skill Breakdown: Touch)

6. Use luring to engage your dog, to help them move their body where you need them to, to give them a target to follow, and to help them shape new behaviors. Luring is an excellent management tool that can be used any time, such as when you enter an elevator and would like to guide your dog to be behind you in a corner while you ride.

Relationship first

means we put our relationship with our pup as well as their mental and emotional wellbeing above all else, including training goals.

By doing this, your training will come along more easily and naturally, and your dog will build confidence in themselves, you, and your relationship.

By teaching our pups that we are always the most exciting, engaging, rewarding thing in their environment, it makes it naturally easier for them to tune into us because it's fun and enjoyable to do so.

Some tips for teaching new behaviors or when introducing new games:

Start inside in familiar areas with minimal distractions. When your pup is good at these games inside, then bring them to more challenging areas.

Keep in mind when it comes to dog training, slow is fast to them.

Take your time, get a solid foundation, keep things light and fun, and the remainder of your training will follow.

Begin training by capturing behaviors you like. This looks like observing a behavior you like that they have naturally offered and that want to see repeated, then Marking and Rewarding this.

For example:

Your pup naturally lays down, sits, etc. when you stop to chat with a neighbor. Next time they are laying down, Mark & Reward with "YES! ::Click:: Good Down Fido!"

Give a small bit of treat or piece of kibble. Repeat often, bringing these skills outside of your home in as many environments and scenarios as possible to help them proof their skill. (Learn more about Proofing here: Proofing: What it is + why it's a crucial component in your pups' training )

We humans are often very disconnected from our bodies and thereby are often unaware of our body language. Imagine how confusing this must be to our pups whose primary language is body language!! Pay attention to what nonverbal cues and communication you may be giving to your dog and try to understand from their perspective why they may be confused. Did you ask for a Sit while standing and requiring them to be in front of you? Only to then ask them to Sit when they were alongside you? This is a totally different scenario to your pup who does not generalize well!! This is why training in a variety of scenarios is so important. Sit might mean “sit in front of me” inside, but once your outside, this is a completely different context to your dog. Slow down. Slow is fast in dog training.

Break things down and set your dog up for success.

No one likes to feel unsuccessful. Start every training session with things you KNOW

your dog will be successful at and then build up from there. If they have a few reps where they are unsuccessful, then be sure to go back to what they know before attempting to progress again. Always end sessions on a positive note with a win for your pup. This goes a LONG way in building their confidence and sense of self efficacy.

For more tips like these, around dog training, confidence building, relationships, and the overlap between human and dog psychology, keep following along in our blog!

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