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Writer's pictureSara-Jane and Steve Gage

Dog Communication Breakdown: What are they asking for?

Updated: Jun 18

Did you know that dogs will use their ears, head, paws, and curving of their bodies to point at things? Dogs will do this most often when asking to get their needs met or to do something specific. 

Example:

If I ask Penny: "Do you want to go outside?" 

Her ear, closest to the door to go outside, may flick that way indicating:

"Yes! I would like to go that way..." She may even look towards the door or physically move her body that way to indicate "Yes."

If she were not interested, she likely would look away instead, put her head down, avoid eye contact, or move away to go lie down elsewhere.


Our dogs are ALWAYS communicating, whether we are understanding and responding to them intentionally or not.


A common occurrence in our household is that at the end of the day, 

Penny will come sit or stand in front of me and simply stare at me.

Most often, this is when I am on my phone or computer and busy doing something.

It's then my job to determine what it is she is asking for. 

In order to communicate clearly, I propose or ask 1 thing at a time, most often starting with the simplest thing: pets on her chest. 

If she moves away, looks away, shows 'whale eye,' curves her body away,

this is a clear indication of: 

"No thanks. That's not what I'm looking for." 

I might then offer a treat, usually asking for a very simple behavior first to earn it. "Kisses? Good girl." and I'll offer a treat. Which she will always eat, but if she then quickly returns to continue her stare,  I then need to ask myself:

 "Have all her needs been met today?

she has water?

Has she eaten?

Has she had adequate enrichment and exercise?

Is her bed is clean and available to her....

....wait, what time is it?"



Penny + Norman pose. What does Norman's facial expression say to you?

That last bit is almost ALWAYS the reason for Penny's deadpan stare in the evenings.

If it is anywhere around 8PM, she is nearly always asking for 1 of two things:

to do a puzzle or to go outside to pee so she can go to bed and not be disrupted. 


Because I have paid attention to her schedule, preferences, and communication over the years, I am better able to understand and problem solve what she needs when her communication may be a little confusing.


It is SO IMPORTANT to learn what your dog is communicating to you, in order to coexist together well and to have a healthy, secure attachment relationship where you are able to effectively set them up for success in this modern day world. 




Brothers Teddy + Hammy work to coexist peacefully together as well as with others in their neighborhood. This requires training, practice, and support from their humans to be successful.

We expect so much from our dogs just by requiring them to exist alongside us in a busy modern day city full of nearly constant unnatural sounds, sights, smells, and more. We expect them to not only peacefully and confidently coexist alongside us, but also the other hundreds of pup and pawrent teams who live in our neighborhoods.

This is HARD for most dogs (and people too quite frankly, but that's for another post,) and it's a really big ask!

The least we can do as the more evolved species, and their 'manager in charge' in this life, is to learn their language, communicate effectively, and set them up for success, as often as possible by providing adequate training and exposure to be their happiest and most confident selves.


Spending time training your dog is an investment into their quality of life as well as yours and knowing what they are communicating is the first step to be able to humanely and effectively train your pup. 


Koozie practicing a Middle around distractions

Have you read "Meet Your Dog: The game-changing guide to understanding your dog's behavior" by Kim Brophy yet? We highly recommend it and even had a book club reading and discussing the book a few months ago!

Get your copy here:



Need a great hands free, versatile leash to be better able to work with your pup?

We love the Kurgo 6-in-1 https://amzn.to/3Ps5Vh4


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Want an opportunity to build your bond with your pup?

Join us

Saturdays at 9AM at Waterfront Park (directly across the street from 525 Water St SW Washington, DC)

 for our

Engaged Pack Walk.

Register on the website by creating your pup's profile and booking.


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